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Get Freebies: Xpango

. Tuesday, November 27, 2007
1 comments


This few days, I'm trying out some ways to earn money from the internet but most of my effort is hopeless. Finally, I come to a website offering Free Gifts. It was very attractive and so I joined Xpango yesterday.


Xpango is a website where users can earn credits(points) to exchange for the gifts or products they ever wanted. It is FREE and no charges apply( Delivery fees are Free too). Xpango offers international service where the gifts will be sent worldwide.

There are 3 ways to earn credits(points):
1. Refer friends (earn 1 points)
2. Participate in Xpango Offers (Optional. Earn 2-3 points)
3. Buy stuff from Xpango. (Optional. Points earn depends on stuff you buy.)

I give a good deep consideration before joining Xpango and finally decided to join. I told myself, "It is not a bad thing to give it a try!".

So, what are the gifts offered by Xpango. It is as below:


The gifts I decided to get is Apple IPod Nano which cost 13 points. So, if you are interested, please kindly Sign Up using the referral link below and get the gift you ever wanted.


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Hayden Panettiere: The Video Behind the Sexy Shoot

. Monday, November 26, 2007
0 comments

I'm telling you: it's a conspiracy and it's all happening fast. Hayden Panettiere is taking over the world and the people at GQ magazine sure are doing their best to help her. The fact is, the petite Heroes star has become increasingly popular over the past months and is slowly going the Rihanna route, cautiously crossing the line between being a cute teenager and turning into a hot chick that can afford to pose in a bikini inside a magazine such as...hmm, let's see...GQ. Wait – I guess she already did that – and the public response was not half bad. Actually, half bad is a euphemism for actually saying that most of us loved it and immediately started fantasizing about Hayden baring more than her

enviable bikini body.

And now, just to tease those boys and girls who loved Hayden's GQ spread, we have a short video with some hot behind the scenes footage of the GQ photo shoot, complete with candid images of the Heroes hottie getting ready for her bikini and nightwear shots. Hayden, it turns out, is not exactly the world's shyest person – on the contrary, she's outspoken and a lot smarter than I initially gave her credit. Which makes for more good news and one cliché less. You know, the whole "dumb blonde" thing that's become pretty much written in stone ever since some annoying god out there created Paris Hilton.

In the interview accompanying the spread, Hayden has stated that she definitely has no intention of turning into Britney Spears and that she's no stranger to Porches and alcohol. Also, she confirmed that she's currently not dating anyone and that the craziest rumor she has heard about herself was to learn that some of us see her as being a lesbian. "Now that I’m single, it’s like I’m dating every male I’m standing next to—and possibly every female. Actually, that’s probably the least of my concerns. That would be a pretty funny one" she admitted. She also said that if she were to choose a man to be portrayed with, she would go for "anyone from Leo DiCaprio to Justin Timberlake—or any girl".

"You want to make me a lesbian? That’s totally fine with me. Um, let’s see. We could do a love affair with Angelina. We could do… Oh gosh, I love—there are so many beautiful girls. Charlize Theron. Oh, my God. Kate Beckinsale is gorgeous. Jessica Alba" she also added. Well, things are just getting better and better. All I can say is, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for an FHM or playboy spread in a few years' time. Kidding. But you must admit, it would be totally hot. OK, I didn't just say that...



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Blond Women Turn Men into... Idiots

. Wednesday, November 21, 2007
2 comments

Men like to make jokes on the stereotype of the dumb blond women. And now, a French team has discovered that men's mental ability plummeted when dealing with blond women, probably as they thought they had a less intelligent interlocutor.


The study published in Journal of Experimental Psychology consisted in two trials, both of them coming with the same results. Men in the study had to complete general knowledge tests while being exposed to women of various hair colors. The scores dropped in both trials when the subjects were presented images of blond women. Further investigations revealed that the subjects had been following unconscious social stereotypes.

"This proves that people confronted with stereotypes generally behave in line with them. In this case blonds have the potential to make people act in a dumber way, because they mimic the unconscious stereotype of the dumb blond," said co-author Thierry Meyer, professor of social psychology at the University of Paris X-Nanterre.

You know that everybody takes the delicate girl with a high-pitch as an innocent creature, when actually she curses all day long when the boss is not around. The same happens with all people we deal with: he/she must be that way because he/she looks like that, speaks like that. This study is another proof which underlines the theory that people’s behavior is powerfully dictated by stereotypes.

Hollywood especially started (at the middle of the 20th century) to boost the stereotype of the dumb blond bimbo through movies stars like Marilyn Monroe, Goldie Hawn and Pamela Anderson. And the trend has been refueled recently by celebrities like Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and Jessica Simpson.

Most white babies are born blond, that's why some researchers suppose there is a basic connection between blond hair and infancy, and the tendency to regard blond woman as less mature. As men have the tendency to look for younger women, as these are at the climax of their fertile period, perhaps this also explains the sexual preference of men for blond women, which they could perceive as younger. (Stefan Anitei, Science Editor – softpedia)


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Meet Dede, The Tree Man

. Tuesday, November 20, 2007
0 comments

The human papillomavirus (HPV), a common human virus, is known especially as a leading cause of warts and cancer. It is also the main cause of cervical cancer (in uterus) (95 % of the cases). Due to oral sex, HPV can cause larynx, esophagus and oropharyngeal cancer (affecting the throat, tonsils and back of the tongue), at a rate which is higher than heavy smoking or alcoholism. This virus can also provoke periungual skin, vulva, vagina, penis, perianal and anus cancer and it is also suspected to cause breast cancer.


Less p
owerful strains cause only warts. Benign warts. Is it so? In combination with a weak immune system, this leads to the whole body being covered with tree-like growths. This is the unique case of Dede, 35, an Indonesian fisherman. The warty "roots" started developing themselves out of his arms and feet after he accidentally cut his knee when he was just 15. The growths spread chaotically over his body, leaving him incapacitated, unable to do everyday household tasks. And they are heavy!

They grow at a fast rhythm of 5 mm per month and when Dede tried to cut them off, they grew back even faster!
Jobless and abandoned by his wife, Dede had to
raise by himself his two children in poverty. He joined a local "freak show" to earn a living, being presented in front of the paying audience alongside other cases of odd conditions, being the victim of abuse and ridicule in his own village, south of Jakarta.

Indonesian doctors could not cope with his ca
se, but Dede's relief could come from Dr Anthony Gaspari of the University of Maryland. Based on blood tests, he found that Dede's condition was caused by HPV.

Dede was found to possess two rare genetic mutations that rendered inactive CD4 immune white blood cells involved in stopping the warts' growth. The virus could thus infect the skin tissues, triggering the development of the massive root-like growths, called "cutaneous horns". The low levels of CD4 cells in Dede's blood pointed initially towards HIV infection.

Amazingly, with all his impaired immune system, Dede and his kids have enjoyed good health.

"The likelihood of having his deficiency is less than one in a million," Gaspari told the Telegraph.co.uk.

Gaspari believes that synthetic Vitamin A could stop the development of Dede's formations, as it works in severe HPV infections.

In 3-6 months, Dede could use his hand, even if it will still not look like a normal one. The most therapy-resistant warts could be removed through freezing off and surgery.

"I've never seen anything like this in my entire career." said Gaspari.

Discovery Channel presented the documentary about Dede's case "Half Man Half Tree", as part of the "My Shocking Story" series, at 9pm, on November 15th.
(Stefan Anitei, Science Editor of Softpedia)


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Google Waves Bloggers Bye-Bye - Not all, though, just the PayPerPost ones

It’s official, Google’s got issues with the morally questionable PayPerPost. The Mountain View based mammoth started punishing the respective bloggers by completely removing their page rank.


It was only last week that Google made its opinion on the freedom of speech available for all to read in a blog that obviously encouraged it (it’s not
communism with censorship after all). Well, right now Ted Murphy, CEO of IZEA (the new holding company for PayPerPost) is actually accusing Google of just that freedom of speech right infringement and censorship conspiracy. Furthermore he claims that this is a part of a Google attempt to deny competition, PayPerPost being a very attractive alternative to AdSense. Now those are some serious accusations I think.

On the other hand, this move from Google will most probably ultimately lead to the disappearance of PayPerPost, as I can’t really think that anybody would be pleased to lose page ranking and not do anything about it. A mass migration will probably occur to a place that will prove to be more reliable and it will leave a big inventory deficiency that will result in diminished revenues making the PayPerPost business model unsustainable going forward.

As a matter of fact when I rephrase it and think it over it actually does sound like a conspiracy aimed at taking down a potential rival… Of course, the ethics of the whole deal are really shady and it’s not exactly the best way to go and be completely and honestly happy (or at least that’s the deal with me) about yourself. Ah, it’s very complicated, with morality issues on the one hand and with Google’s going Terminator 3 at PayPerPost’s neck on the other… complicated.

After all it is an alternative way for the little guy to make money and that’s a good thing after all. (By: Vlad Constandes, SEO News Editor)


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Hi Tech Students

. Sunday, November 18, 2007
0 comments

The benefits of Sony Portable Reader PRS 500 for students

The Sony Reader PRS 500 or 505 are a great investment for any student. The Portable Reader PRS 500 is a six-inch piece of paper that is only half an inch thick and has is a featherweight at nine ounces. It allows students to read many different types of materials quickly and easily.

Imagine having your Electronic textbooks on the Sony Reader PRS 500. The Sony Portable Reader PRS 500 has an impressive twenty-gigabyte hard disk that has plenty of room for tons of Electronic books. In fact it can store a whooping twelve thousand six hundred Ebooks. Twelve Thousands electronic book space would mean you could have all your school textbooks on a single light device instead of a backpack. All you need is software for the PRS-500 called Michelangelo (we'll talk about it later) some back packs full of books can weigh a lot.

A fifty-pound backpack is typical of what many college or university students carry with them. With such a heavy backpack; weighing fifty or sixty pounds, you could cause serious back problems. You could avoid upper and lower lumber strain and possibly damage with the Sony Portable Reader PRS 500. The Sony Reader PRS 500 pays for itself after all of the savings of not having to have adjustments at the chiropractic office.

The Sony Portable Reader PRS 500 can be used for more than just your textbooks. You can also upload PDF files and read the daily news or catch up on your best friends' blog. Other formats you can use include Word Documents and Text Files.

Using a Program for the PRS 500 called Michelangelo 2.0, you can make your existing text books even better. Michelangelo 2.0 allows you to format your books and other word files. Format the files to look fantastic on your Sony Reader PRS 500.

The Sony Reader PRS 500 is great if you are studying English as it comes with one hundred free classic titles. This is of course with the deal offered between August fourth two thousand and seven and January Thirty first two thousand and eight. Classics titles could be Shakespeare, Oliver Twist, and David Copper field. If you happen to be studying a subject like biology you could download the Origin of Species by Charles Darwin, although some of his theories are false many are real and could be a good place to start your studies. If you're interested in all the free Electronic books that you could get with your purchase of the Sony Portable Reader PRS 500 visit the connect store

The battery life on the Sony Reader PRS 500 is impressive with as many as 7500 pages reads. Great for the long bus rides to and from school. When the battery dies, you can use a AC charger or even charge it by hooking it up to your computer via USB.

Author/Poster Website: Dan Ricker landerlance@gmail.com


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Missing Filemon's Sine-sine music video

. Wednesday, October 31, 2007
0 comments


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Norwegian Recycling - Ben Is Chasing Beautiful Girls

. Monday, October 8, 2007
0 comments

Try to check this Beautiful Girls remix of Sean Kingston courtesy of course from Norwegian Recycling:

Contain samples from:
Sean Kingston - Beautiful Girls
Ben E. King - Stand By Me
Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars
Alice Deejay - Back In My Life
Beverly Hills 90210 - Opening Theme
Puff Daddy feat. Faith Evans &112 - I'll Be Missing You



Download MP3 HERE.



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Husband & Wife

Husband & Wife - Why divorce?

In a divorce court a woman requested the judge: "Your honor, I want to divorce my husband."

"But why ?" asked the judge. She replied, "Because he is not faithful to me."

The judge asked, "How do you know ?" She replied, "My lord, not a single child resembles him."

*********

Husband & Wife - Love Your Enemy

From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, "One month after I die I want you to marry Samy."

"Samy! But he is your enemy !" "Yes, I know that ! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now."

*********

Husband & Wife - Wedding Ring

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"

The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

*********

Husband & Wife - Why?

" Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man's arms.

" Why, Dad ? Tell me why!" Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, Son, she didn't get the fax."

*********

Husband & Wife - Same Service

A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking.

Now after ten years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking."

"Why complain?" said the counselor. "You're still getting the same service!"


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Logic

. Saturday, October 6, 2007
0 comments

A man and his wife were in a court for their divorce case. The Problem was who should get custody of the child.

The wife screamed and jumped up and said: "Your Honor. I brought The child into the world with all the pain and labor.


The child Should be in my custody."


The judge turned to the husband and said: "What do you have to Say in your defense?"

The man sat for a while contemplating...then slowly rose. "Your Honor... If I put a dollar in a Pepsi Vending Machine and a Pepsi Comes out...


Whose Pepsi is it... The machine's or mine
?"

-from funlok.com


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When I say I'm Broke..I'm Broke!

. Wednesday, October 3, 2007
0 comments

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

"Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."

"Go away," said the old lady.

"I haven't got any money, I'm broke!" As she proceeded to close the door, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed wide open.

"Don't be too hasty," he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration."

And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure on to her hallway carpet.


"If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.

The old lady stepped back and said, "Well I hope you've got a damned good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning.

What part of broke do you not understand?


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A PINOY LAB STORY

. Friday, September 21, 2007
0 comments

Bing, a beautiful Filipina fell in love with Edong.

She planned to marry very soon. She was so happy about her wedding plans, she decided to tell her Tatay (dad).

Her Tatay told her, "Bing, you'll have to find another. Your Nanay (mom) does not know this, but Edong is your half-brother" .

So Bing forgot about her Edong, and soon planned to marry Ricardo.

But after telling tatay again, he said, "Bing, anak ko (my child), there's trouble still. You cannot marry Ricardo. Please don't tell your mother, but Ricardo and Edong are your half-brothers. "

Bing had no choice but to go to her Nanay. Nanay already knew and said "Anak ko, do what makes you happy. Marry Ricardo or marry Edong, because you are not related to Tatay."

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL LOVE STORY....
-unknown author


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Philippine Cockatoo (Cacatua haematuropygia)

. Monday, September 17, 2007
0 comments

The Philippines is home to some of the world's most exotic birds. Over the years, some 577 species of birds have wandered around the Philippine archipelago. It is believed that 185 of these species can be found only in the Philippines. Sadly, these species are among the most endangered in the world because of deforestation and human threat. The Bird Life International has listed 116 resident species in the Philippines as "threatened" or "near-threatened".

One of these endangered species is the exotic Kalangay or the Philippine cockatoo (Cacatua haematuropygia), a species belonging to Psittacidae or the family of parrots. Cockatoos are treetop, hole-nesting birds which have a mas
sive scimitar-like beak for cracking nuts, digging up roots, or prying grubs from wood. They have a long life span, some living more than 50 years.

Kalangay, also known as the red-vented cockatoo, is a common cage bird capable of mimicking human voice. It has a predominantly white plumage, which produces a distinct contrast against the color of the forest making them easy to locate in the dense foliage. Endemic only to the Philippines, it is the only species in the country that represents the cockatoo group.

An ordinary kalangay measures 33 centimeters in length and weighs 0.29 kilo
gram. Its unique feature is its conspicuous red under-tail coverts. It feeds on the seeds and fruits of wild trees or, in cultivated areas, on rice or corn. Kalangay wanders in small flocks outside of the breeding season, and visits forest edges and nearby plantations for food. The female kalangay normally lays two eggs, which hatch after about 24 days. Emergent trees 30-40 m tall are usually used as nesting sites, and coconut plantations on offshore islands as roosting sites.

The past decades saw the population of kalangays decline by as much as 90 percent. It is one of the three most traded wildlife species together with the talking mynah and blu
e naped parrot, all of which are found only in Palawan. Many hobbyists and collectors keep a kalangay at home because of its ability to mimic sounds as well as its easy adaptability to the presence of humans.

A great number of kalangays were flying in flocks across the Visayas and Mindanao islands 50 years ago. But because of the rapid deterioration of the forests where it lives and the threat posed by hunters and poachers of wild animals, the population of kalangays has diminished to only between 1,000 and 4,000 individuals. This population is now restricted to Palawan, particularly in St. Paul's Subterranean River National Park, Pandanan Island and El Nido Marine Reserve.

Unregulated collection and illegal trade of these prized species remain unchecked. A piece of kalangay is reportedly worth as much as $500 at the Cartimar bird market in Manila. Efforts are being made to save its remaining population in the forests of Palawan, which, sad to say, are also under threat. Kalangay or the Philippine cockatoo is a national treasure because it is found only in the Philippines.

-from txtmania


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Filipino Billionaires

Fellow countrymen, be proud. While most of us may be poor, with total net worth of a little more than what we wear right now, there are reasons to be proud of. Even though many of us are not privileged enough to own a house, a lot or a car, there is something in Filipinos that we can brag about. Well, we may not be a part of it but other Filipinos, and only a few of them, just give our nation an image of prosperity.

The country’s gross domestic product (GDP) per capita income may be less than US$1,000, but four of over 80 million Filipinos are getting a larger share of the pie. In fact, they are included in Forbes Magazines’ latest list of 497 world billionaires (in US d
ollars). Bravo!

Ironically, Finland and Austria where per capita income is more than US$24,000 has no representative in the billionaires’ circle.

Filipinos in the billionaires' list are Lucio Tan, with a net worth of US$1.7 billion; Henry Sy, US$1.5 billion; George Ty, US$1.1 billion; and Jaime Augusto Zobel de Ayala and family, US$1 billion. Their combined wealth amount to about US$5.3 billion or almost 7 percent of the country’s GDP of US$75.2 billion last year.

The first three billionaires were immigrants from China while Ayala is a scion of an aristocrat Spanish clan.

Tan, 67, owns Asia Brewery, Fortune Tobacco, Philippine Airlines and Philippine National Bank while the 77-year-old Sy manages the
SM shopping malls. Ty, 69, runs Metro Bank, the country’s largest commercial bank while Ayala, 42, heads Ayala Corp., the largest conglomerate in the Philippines.

Other Filipinos who figured in previous billionaires’ lists are John Gokongwei, a property and retail
tycoon; Manuel Villar, a senator who controls the country’s largest housing developer company; Danding Cojuangco, chairman of San Miguel Corp.; the Lopez clan of Meralco and ABS-CBN; and Tan Yu, a property mogul.

Who can accuse the Philippines as a country of poor people. I may be poor, but at least four Filipinos are not. And I am proud of this fact. Are you?

-from txtmania


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Earn Money in 2 MINUTES!

. Friday, September 14, 2007
0 comments

Do you agree that you have the right to

- choose the ads you want to receive,
- only read ads that you are interested in, and
- get paid to read those ads?

This program has been a great success in Singapore and is now open to people from all over the world.

More importantly, this program is 100% free.

Good usernames are taken up fast. Secure your preferred username now at Emailcashpro.com

Don't Waste Time, Join Now!


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Earn $$$ / using similar site with FRIENDSTER

. Wednesday, September 12, 2007
0 comments

Of course, everyone of us wants to earn money in easy way. But what if,
1. you tried it co'z there's nothing to lose and nothing to risk for
2. task is very easy to do and promised you big bucks (but takes forever to earn big)
3. you enjoy what your doin' -- which is very important

YET, found out later that you will not receive your pay either because they don't support your country or they dont send money here in the phillippines at all... THAT'S A TOTAL WASTE OF TIME.

Why not try YUWIE -- it works like FRIENDSTER (if u are familiar with it, that's better)

Another way of earning easy money here is referral 1-3 referrals is enough and the rest is up to them (its up to you if you want to refer or not -- nobody's forcing you).

Here's an example of what could happen. Assuming that you refer 3 people, and those 3 people refer 3, then those refer 3, through 10 levels, and each referral gets 1000 page views for the month, and the month's RSR is $0.50.

Want some more...those are just some ways to earn money in YUWIE...for more info just click THIS!

I would strongly suggest that you click/paste it in your browser to sign up so that you will be added to my friends list and also i could check out ur profile...(in other words, we help each other to earn)

And one more thing, once u created ur account, click on edit profile, under name tab, u will see there "edit your payment information 'click here', and you will see payment method, choose check para masaya tayong lahat!!!


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Pampagising

. Friday, September 7, 2007
0 comments

REPORTER: Sir, kung wala po kayong evidence, witness or suspect ano na po ang next step ninyo??
POLICE: DNA na...
REPORTER: sir, ano po yung DNA ???
POLICE: "Di Namin Alam "


MAN1: Away kami ni misis, nag-Historical siya
MAN2: Pare baka ang ibig mo sabihin ay nag-Hysterical
MAN1: Hinde, historical kasi inungkat lahat ng kasalanan ko!"


EMPLOYEE: boss pwede ba ako nalang ang papalit dun pwesto sa manager natin na kamamatay lang?
BOSS: ok lang sa akin na ikaw ang pumalit sa kanya, ewan ko lang kung papayag ang punerarya.

BOY: Nay! Muntik na ako maging top one sa klase!
NANAY: Bat mo naman nasabi?
BOY: Ini-announce kasi kanina yung top one sa klase. Ang tinuro ni ma'am yung katabi ko. Muntik na ako!


Bush visited the Philippines and Erap acted as his translator:
BUSH: "Lets help one another..."
ERAP: "Tayo'y magtulungan. .."
BUSH: "...let's strive together..."
ERAP: "...tayo'y magsikap..."
BUSH: "...because in union there is strength."
ERAP: "...dahil sa sibuyas may titigas!"


BONGBONG: Pare sinong idol mo?
CHAVIT: Si Arnold Schwarzenegger.
BONGBONG: Sige nga, spell Schwarzenegger.
CHAVIT: Hindi, joke lang pare, si Jet Li talaga idol ko.


Erap writing on a slum book:
Favorite Actor:
Arnold Scharzene... ... (erase)
Arnold Schwarze... ... (erase)
Arnold Schwarzz... ... (erase)
Arnold Shwazenne... . ..(erase)
Arnold Shwazenner.. . ..(erase)
Arnold Shwarzenneg. . ..(erase)
Arnold Schchwarzenne. .. (erase)
Arnold Clavio


HOLDUPER: Pili ka, wallet mo o pasabugin utak mo?
BIKITMA: Ikaw na bahala..bastaa pareho po yan walang laman!


Sa isang mumurahing airline:
STEWARDESS: Sir, would you like some dinner?
PASSENGER: Ano ba ang mga choices?
STEWARDESS: 'Yes' or 'No' lang po

TEACHER: Anong similarity nina Jose Rizal, Andres Bonifacio, Ninoy Aquino at Apolinario Mabini?
STUDENT: Ma'am, pagkaka-alam ko po, silang lahat ay pinanganak ng holiday! ?


TITSER: Juan, use recharge & caffeine in a sentence.
JUAN: Si "Recharge" Gutierrez ay si "Caffeine" Barbell. ?


ERAP: Soli ko tong nabili kong DVD.
FPJ: Anong problema?
ERAP: Walang picture, tsaka sound. Sayang. Suspense thriller pa yata to. Tsk, tsk...
FPJ: Anong title?
ERAP: "The Lens Cleaner"



BATA: Pabili nga po ng ubas....
TINDERO: Wala kame ubas
KINABUKASAN??
BATA: Pabili nga po ng ubas.....
TINDERO: Wala kame ubas
KINABUKASAN ULIT??
BATA: Mama, pabili nga po ng ubas....
TINDERO: Sinabi na ngang wala e! Pag nagtanong ka pa, iistepler ko na yang bibig mo!
AT KINABUKASAN NA NAMAN ULIT??
BATA: Mama, may stapler kayo?
TINDERO: Wala..
BATA: Pabili nga po ng ubas


PROMDI: Lam ko promdi lang ako kaya wag mo kong lolokohin! Bakit ganito ang kwarto ko?!?! Maliit, wala pang kama at bintana..... ha?!?!
ROOMBOY: Sir, nasa elevator pa lang po tayo...


MRS: Bakit ngayon ka lang?
MR: Pasensha na, nagyaya mga officemates ko, nagkainuman lang. Hehe! Hik,
MRS: Lasing ka no?
MR: Ako, lashing? Hindi! Hik
MRS: Anong hindi?! La ka namang trabaho, pano ka nagka-officemates?


JUN-JUN: Inay! Ako lang ang nakasagot sa tanong ng titser namin kanina!
INAY: Very good! Ano ba ang tanong ng titser ninyo?
JUN-JUN: "Sino ang walang assignment?"


TITSER: Ano ang hugis ng mundo?
JUAN: Kuwadrado po, maam!
TITSER: Hindi! Ang mundo ay bilog.
JUAN: Pero maam, sabi ng lolo ko, narating na niya ang APAT na sulok ng mundo. May sulok po ba ang bilog?



Boss asks sexy secretary to a dinner after overtime: Are you free tonight?
The sexy secretary replies: Sir, ha... huwag naman, FREE... Bibigyan na lang kita ng discount!


GIRL: Maganda ba ko?
BOY: Oo, kaya lang, Bumbayin ka...
GIRL: Hindi naman ako mukhang Bumbay, ah?! Tisay yata to!
BOY: Oo nga, pero 'yung amoy mo, Bumbayin!



ELISEO: Sobra na talaga ang katangahan ng kumare mo. Ang akala niya, ang LAWSUIT ay uniporme ng pulis!
JOSHUA: Sus! Tanga nga! Eh di ba, uniporme ng abugado yun?!


HOST: Ano po ang maipaglilingkod ko sa inyo?

TANDA: Pwede ho bang manawagan?
HOST: Ilang taon na po kayo?
TANDA: 98 y/o na po ako.
HOST: Wow! Ang tanda nyo na pala! O, sige po... manawagan na kayo.
TANDA: Itay, umuwi na kayo! Hindi na nagagalit si Lolo sa inyo!


Namatay ang isang mister na babaero.

Sa requiem mass, sinabi ng pari patungkol sa namatay,
…."An honest man, a good man, a family man" et cetera.
Binulungan ng biyuda ang panganay na anak,

Pakisilip nga ang kabaong kung ang daddy mo nga ang nasa loob!"


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I'm joining the 1st Mindanao Bloggers Summit

. Sunday, August 26, 2007
1 comments


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THE LITTLE BOAT

. Friday, August 24, 2007
1 comments

There was a little boy who lived by the sea and the one thing he loved best was to carve out little boats from the pieces of driftwood that came from that sea. One day he found washed up on the shore a solid block of wood so perfect for sculpting that he told himself, "This is going to be the best boat I'll make!" and so he proceeded to carve it, making sure that the details were perfect. After sculpting it, he sanded it and painted and lacquered it. He'd then take it wherever he went, always showing it off to his friends.

One day, he waded into the sea, put his little boat on the water, and watched it bob up and down on the water. He was very proud of his boat. But suddenly, a great wave descended on him and the little boat, and the wave engulfed the little boat until it drifted far, far away from the boy and disappeared. The boy ran to his father, crying, and his father tried to comfort him, to no avail.

The days went past, and became weeks, then months, but the boy still missed his little boat. One day, while he was accompanying his father to town, he wandered into a store, and there, among the other souvenirs and merchandise the store was selling, was his little boat! He then approached the owner, and asked him where he got the little boat over there by the shelf.

"Well now," said the owner, "someone came into the store just last week and sold me that little boat, and since it's a fine piece of craftsmanship, I thought it was a good deal."

"Sir, you see, I was the one who made that little boat." the boy said. "I carved it, sanded it, painted and lacquered it. It's the best little boat I ever made, and it got lost at sea and I've searched and searched for it and now I'm so happy to have found it. Can I have it back please?"

The owner looked at the boy, shook his head, and said, "I'm sorry son, but I paid for that little boat, and if you want to get it back, then you'd have to buy it ." The boy, who didn't have any money on him at the time, said, "Okay. I'll be back soon. Just keep it in reserve for me, okay?" Then he took one last look at his little boat, and ran to join his father. As soon as they came home, he went to his room, took his piggy bank, broke it, and counted the money in it. Alas, he came up short! He sat there, tears rolling down his face, and his father came in the room. "Son, what's the matter?," his father asked. So the boy told him what happened, and his father said, "Son, why do love that little boat so much? There are so many pieces of wood that wash up daily from the sea. You could make another little boat, or even more if you wished. "

The boy replied, "Father, I loved that little boat so much. I couldn't eat nor sleep, wondering what had happened to it all these months. And to have found it after all this time! Father, I don't care how much it costs, I'm going to work hard so I can save up to buy back my little boat." His father lovingly looked at his son's sad face, and said, "Okay, my son, I understand. Here, I'll give you the money to buy back your boat," and handed him the money. The boy hugged his father tightly, whispering, "Thank you, father." and ran off towards the store, and bought back his little boat. He took it home, cradling it in his arms, and showed it off to his father, his mother, and the rest
of his family. From then on, he never let it drift too far at sea, and always kept it at his side.

Jesus is that boy, and you and I are that little boat. He molded us, polished us, cherished us so much, and when we drifted off where he couldn't find us or reach us, he became so sad. And, after having found us again, he did not hesitate to pay whatever price in order to redeem us. With Jesus, he paid for us by giving up his life. When you have someone who loves you that much, and you sometimes feel that nobody in this world really cares whether you come and go, take heart; somebody cares, and will never, ever let you out of his sight ever again.


(by: Fr. Arlo Yap, SVD from FOOD FOR THOUGHT)


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TAWA Muna

. Thursday, August 23, 2007
1 comments

A Filipino, a German and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia , so for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back."

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.

The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back."

But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also led away whimpering loudly.

The Filipino was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from one of most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," the Filipino replied.

"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face.

"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it.

"And what is your second wish, ?" the Sheik asked.

Filipino smiled and said, "Tie the Pakistani to my back" !!!


****************** The End ******************

"TEACHER: Class draw a fish..!
CLASS: Yes ma'am!
TEACHER: Pedro, why is ur drawing very dirty..?
PEDRO: Ma'am, bagoong po yan."

****
"Pulis at Intsik:
Pulis: boss konting abuloy lang, may namatay na pulis.
Intsik: ako malaki migay amuloy masta alaw-alaw melon pulis paktay
oke.."

****
"PASYENTE: Dok. . . Ninenerbyos po ako! First operation ko po ito. . .
DOK: Alam ko ang nararamdaman mo. . .Kasi ikaw rin ang una kong
pasyente"

****

Tanga: kamusta yung exam mo.
Bobo: wala ako nasagutan, blanko yung papel ko. Ikaw?
Tanga: naku, blangko din yung papel ko, baka sabihin ni titser,
nagkopyahan tayo

****

"WIFE: maghiwalay na tayo!
MAN: ok,akin ang bahay!
WIFE: akin ang farm!
MAN: akin ang kotse!
WIFE: ah pero akin driver
MAN: pwes, magkakamatayan tyo, MATAGAL NA SIYANG AKIN!"

*****

"Mrs: hoy!Tama na yang beer mo masyado ka magastos
Mr: Ikaw make-up mo ang magastos
Mrs: Nagpapaganda ako para syo
Mr: Ako umiinom naman para gumanda ka!"

*****

"May bagong kasal:
MRS: Honey malapit na tayong maging 3 dito sa bahay
MR: Talaga honey? Pinasaya mo ako sa balita mo
MRS: Oo dito na titira ang nanay ko!"

****

REPORTER: Sir, kung wala po kayong evidence, witness or suspect ano na
po ang next step ninyo??
Police: DNA na...
REPORTER: sir, ano po yung DNA ???
Police: "Di Namin Alam "

*****
"Man1: Away kami ni misis, nag-Historical siya
Man2: Pare baka ang ibig mo sabihin ay nag-Hysterical
Man1: Hinde, historical kasi inungkat lahat ng kasalanan ko!"

****

A black baby is given a pair of wings by a fairy..
BABY: Does this mean I am an angel???
FAIRY: (laughs) of course not! tong negrang to! ambisyosa! PANIKI ka!!

*****

In a party, a handsome guy approached a girl and asked; are you going to
dance??
The girl felt so happy that someone finally asked her and she said;
"yes" and the guys said "that's good, can I have your chair??"

*******

"Naglalakad ang mag-ama, nakakita ng eroplano
ANAK: Tay! Krus! Ang laking krus!
TATAY(Binatukan ang anak): Nakita mo ng krus eh! Lumuhod tayo!"

******
Employee: boss pwede ba ako nalang ang papalit dun pwesto sa manager
natin na kamamatay lang?
Boss: ok lang sa akin na ikaw ang pumalit sa kanya, ewan ko lang kung
papayag ang punerarya :)

******

bobo1: Pare, alam mo ba tawag sa paniki na mababa ang lipad?
bobo2: hindi eh! ano ba pare?
bobo1: Lowbat pare! Lowbat!

****

Boy: Nay! Muntik na ako maging top one sa klase!
Nanay: Bat mo naman nasabi?
Boy: Ini-announce kasi kanina yung top one sa klase. Ang tinuro ni ma'am
yung katabi ko. Muntik na ako!

****

Bush visited the Philippines and Erap acted as his translator:
Bush: "Lets help one another..."
Erap: "Tayo'y magtulungan. .."
Bush: "...let's strive together..."
Erap: "...tayo'y magsikap..."
Bush: "...because in union there is strength."
Erap: "...dahil sa sibuyas may titigas!"

*****

Bongbong -- Pare sinong idol mo?
Chavit--Si Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Bongbong-- Sige nga, spell Schwarzenegger.
Chavit --Hindi, joke lang pare, si Jet Li talaga idol ko.

****

Erap writing on a slum book:
Favorite Actor:
Arnold Scharzene... ... (erase)
Arnold Schwarze... ... (erase)
Arnold Schwarzz... ... (erase)
Arnold Shwazenne... . ..(erase)
Arnold Shwazenner.. . ..(erase)
Arnold Shwarzenneg. . ..(erase)
Arnold Schchwarzenne. .. (erase)
Arnold Clavio

****

Pare 1: Pre, nasusuka ako kaya lang di ako masuka

Pare 2: Madali lang yan, pre ~ sundutin mo tonsils mo (pare 1 sinundot ang tonsils ..)

Pare 1: Di pa rin e Pare 2: Hmmmmm ... sundutin mo pwet mo (pare 1 sinundot ang pwet ...)

Pare 1: Wala pa rin

Pare 2: Ngayon, tsaka mo ule isundot sa bibig mo ... pag hindi ka pa masuka nyan ewan ko na!

*****

Sa isang ospital...
Lola (may cancer) : Doc, anong gagawin nyo sa akin?
Doc : Che-chemo, lola.
Lola : Titi mo rin! Bastos ka! walang modo!

****

Holduper: Pili ka, wallet mo o pasabugin utak mo?
Biktima: Ikaw na bahala..bastaa pareho po yan walang laman!

****

Pare1: Pare, bat naman hanggang ngayon wala ka pang syota? wala ka pa
bang napupusuan?
Pare2: Meron.. Manhid ka lang!
(nyahahahaha! )

*****

Sa isang mumurahing airline:
Stewardess: Sir, would you like some dinner?
Passenger: Ano ba ang mga choices?
Stewardess: 'Yes' or 'No' lang po.


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Famous Statements

. Wednesday, August 22, 2007
0 comments

1. God is real, unless declared integer

2. Before borrowing money from a friend, decide whether you need more.

3. Death is hereditary.

4. There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side.

5. An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

6. Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.

7. Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

8. When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

9. Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

10. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

11. Well done is better than well said.

12. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.

13. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

14. If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

15. Where there's a will there are five hundred relatives.

16. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

-thanks to funlok


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Ease up!

. Tuesday, August 14, 2007
1 comments

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.


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Pinoy Power!!!

. Monday, August 13, 2007
2 comments

Pinoy is what Filipinos call each other, a term of endearment. You're Pinoy from Pilipino, just like you're tisoy from mestizo, or chinoy from chino.

It's a nickname just as Minoy is from Maximo, Ninoy from Benigno, Tinay from Florentina and Kikay from Francisca. But now they're Maxi and Ben and Tintin and Cheska.

You've been called indio , goo-goo, negro, flip, noypits. Or Filipino, a biscuit that is brown outside and white inside, or a word stricken from the dictionary which means domestic. Ay, lintik!

You're Juan de la Cruz or Mang Pandoy. You're common tao, masa, urban poor but also Cecile Licad and Don Jaime, Jose Rizal and Tony Meloto, Shawie and Pacquiao and Nick Joaquin, galing galing.

Born June 12, 1896 , the Republic of the RP is a Gemini, good at connecting, good at loving-loving, good at texting and interpersonal skills. Filipinos like to yakap, akbay, hawak, kalong, kalabit. We sleep side by side, siping-siping, we go out kabit kabit.

There's lots of us to go around. Someone always to listen to a sob story, even in a jeepney, to share-a-load or to share a TV.

Everyone's tito, tita

Who has a hipag, a bayaw, a bilas, a balae, a kinakapatid? Who has an ate, dete, diche, kuya, diko? The maids call her ate, the driver calls him kuya and everybody is tito or tita.

Who has a Lola Baby, a Tito Totoy, a bosing called Sir Peewee, his wife Ma'am Lovely and their kids Cla Cla and Cring Cring?

The Pinoy lives in a condo, a mansion, an apartment, a bahay na bato, ilalim ng tulay, Luneta, Forbes Park , and Paris too!

He's a citizen of the world, he's in all the villages and capitals, colonizing the West, bringing his guitar and his bagoong, his walis na tingting, his tabo, his lolo and lola.

Where there's a beat, there's a Pinoy. You'll find her singing in a nightclub in Tokyo , a musical in London , the Opera House in Sydney . Sure, they've got the infrastructure, the theaters and architecture. Who but Pinoys direct their plays, or trains their company managers, and imports our teachers, by the way?

Viagra to Victoria 's Secret

Look at that baggage - all pasalubong, none for herself. From bedsheet to hair color, Toblerone to carpet, Viagra to paella pan, Victoria 's Secret to microwave.

Hey, Joe, don't envy me 'cause I'm brown, you'll get ultra violet from that sun and turn red not brown.

Just lucky, I guess. God put us all in the oven, but some were uncooked and some were burned, but me, I came out golden brown!

Hey, Kristoff! Hey David and Ann! Your Pinoy yaya makes your kids gentler, more obedient, she teaches them how to pray. Hey Big Brother! Hey Grandma Moses! Who but Pinoy nurses make your sick days easier all the way?

We made the jeepney, the karaoke, the fluorescent bulb, the moon buggy. We invented People Power and crispy pata; popularized virgin coconut oil, scaled the Everest and made it with Cebu furniture abroad among the best. Ever trying for the Guinness World Record - with the longest swim of a child, the longest kiss, the longest longanisa.

Linguist

The Pinoy is a linguist. As in. As if. For a while. Open the light. Close the light. Paki ganyan naman ang kuwan sa ano. Tuck in. Tuck out. Don't be high blood. If you're ready na, I'll pass for you.

Hayop; Hanep! Bongga ka 'day, feel na feel kita, kilig to the bones ako. Don't make wala, don't make tampo. Taralets na, babes, let's go, nababato na ang syota mo.

I'm inviting you to my party, please RSVP. Oo means "yes" or "maybe," or "yes if you insist," or "maybe if it doesn't rain."

"Yes" is also a nice way of saying "no." Yes, hindi kita sisiputin. "No," eto na ako at ang barkada ko. Please don't ask a Pinoy a question like that!

Just flows

She's not so exact, not so chop-chop, she just flows and flows. Filipino time? Naku, huli din naman ang Kano !

The Pinoy finds time to be nice, to be kind, to apologize, to be there when you're depressed, to help you with your utang and your wedding dress.

The Filipino is a giver, never mind what it does to his liver, never mind what it takes.
Hardships of the Third World don't dry up his blood, they just make him more compassionate, more feeling, of the other guy's lot.

Note that the maid sends all her wages home to ailing daddy. She is the OCW whose labor of loneliness created the original katas ng Saudi.

Bahala na

The Filipino is fearless, bahala na si Batman, which actually means Bathala na or "leave all to God." Okay lang if I die by bitay, okay lang if I live, okay lang if I survive by the skin of my teeth.

Saway ni Inay: Di ka naman Bill Gates, di ka naman French, mahirap nang magbuhat ng sarili mong bench.

-anonymous


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Why Do We Love?

. Friday, August 10, 2007
1 comments

why do we love ba?
so we can have somebody to talk to?
someone who can be there pag gusto natin gumala?
a person na pwedeng manlibre sa atin?
taong magbibitbit ng gamit mo?
alalay for short!
eh pano kung di ka niya mahal?
would you still love him/her?
would you still continue to care for that person?
bakit naman hindi?
you didn't love that person para magkaroon ka ng alalay,
magkaroon ka ng instant meal dahil libre,
taong gagawa ng assignments mo or projects,
or taong mahihila mo if you want to go out...

If that's what you think about love, well sorry, ang babaw mo, loving a person doesn't need to have a criteria na dapat maganda o guwapo, dapat mabait or understanding, kasi, once you fall in love, you take the risk of accepting that person kahit maingay siya matulog, ung hilik ng hilik kahit matakaw siya or sobrang fat na hindi na kayo kasya pag puno ang jeep! Kahit sobrang moody nya na kulang na lang ay sapakin mo sa inis!

Yung sobrang selosa na pati barkada pinagseselosan! bad trip diba? Yung stupid na kulang na lang iuntog mo sa pader para magtino! and yung napaka-arte,

OA kumbaga! Isama na rin natin yung mga sobrang kulit! O kahit ano pang things that would turn you off...

Hirap talaga magmahal trying to be perfect kasi gusto mong magtagal pero hindi yun ang sagot sa lahat....

ACCEPTING the real person fully kasi if you said na mahal mo siya you don't need to find answers kung WHY mo siya love...

Kasi lahat ng tao nagbabago but if you accept that person magbago man siya in the middle of your relationship hindi ka masasaktan kasi you know that darating din yun...
chaka tanggap mo siya ng buo...

Mahirap gawin pero masarap subukan dahil wala ng sasaya pa if you let one person feel na MAHAL NA MAHAL mo siya without asking for anything in return... then you can say, "WOW! Yun pala ang LOVE!"

-lsr677


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Ang Kawawang Mga Magulang

. Tuesday, August 7, 2007
5 comments

A friend of mine emailed this to me.. hay, ang buhay nga naman..

Dear Anak,

Na-ipadala ko na ang 50 thousand pesos na tuition fee mo, ibininta na namin ang mga kalabaw natin. Ang mahal pala ng kursong COUNTER STRIKE. Wala na din pala tayong baboy na-ibenta na din para dun sa sinasabi mo na project nyo na NOKIA N75, ang mahal naman pala ng project na yun. Kasama din ang 7 thousand dun para sa field trip nyo sa MALL OF ASIA. Anak, malayo ba ang lugar na yun? Mag-ingat ka sa pagbibiyahe mo. Isa-sanla pala namin ang palayan natin para mabili mo na yung instrumentong I-POD na kinakailangan mo sa laboratory nyo. Anak, komportable ka ba dyan sa boarding house mo? Saan ba kamo yang VICTORIA COURT? Maganda ba dyan anak, hindi ba mainit? Anak, kamusta na pala yung group project nyo na SANMIG LIGHT? Napa-ilaw nyo na ba? Mataas ba ang nakuha ninyong grado dun?

Anak, sana bago pa ma-ubos ang lahat lahat ng mga ari-arian natin ay maka gradweyt ka na. Walong taon ba talaga ang kurso mong yan na SECRETARIAL? Sana pag gradweyt mo makakuha ka kaagad ng trabaho kagaya ng manager ng kumpanya para mabawi natin ang mga ari-arian natin sa sanglaan. Ay syanga pala anak, di ba sabi mo na sa JOLLIBEE at MAK DONALD ka palaging kumakain, ok ba naman sayo ang mga ulam dyan? Baka hindi masarap, kawawa ka naman. Eh, yung school bus ninyo na TAXI sabihin mo sa driver na mag ingat sya sa pag dri-drive. Anak, hanggang dito na lang at sa susunod ay ipa-padala ko sayo ang pera na pambili mo ng ALTIS na gagamitin mo sa VACANT SUBJECT mo.

Ang nagmamahal,

Itang at Inang

P.S. Anak mag-aral kang mabuti. Ingatan mo ang katawan mo. Huwag ka munang mag-asawa. Ikaw lang ang pag-asa namin para mahango tayo sa kahirapan.


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Ewww.. Consequences of too much drinking

. Monday, August 6, 2007
0 comments











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Funniest School Excuse Notes!!

. Sunday, August 5, 2007
1 comments

These are the top ten funniest excuse notes from parents collected by schools from all over this country.

1. Please excuse Sheryl for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

2. Jimmy has been absent yesterday because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

3. My daughter is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute her.

4. Please excuse Jenny. She has been sick and under the doctor.

5. Sandra won't be in school a week from today. We have to attend her funeral.

6. Please excuse Lanie from Jim today. She is administrating.

7. Kevin was absent from school yesterday because he was playing football. He was damaged in the growing part.

8. Amy could not come to school today because she was bothered by very close veins.

9. Please excuse Johnny for being. It was his father's fault.

10. Please excuse Jesse from school. He had very loose vowels.


-Mr-desi


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MEN n WOMEN

. Saturday, August 4, 2007
0 comments

Men:

1. All men are extremely busy.

2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.

3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.

4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one Around.

5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their Luck with others.

6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off If the women leaves them.

7. Although the women leaves them they still don't learn from their Mistakes and still try their luck with others.

***************
Women:

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.

2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive Clothes.

3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something To wear.

4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress Beautifully.

5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "An old rag".

6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still Expect you to compliment them.

7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't Believe you

-Mr.-desi


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Cold Water Swimming Informal Record

A British explorer has braved sub-zero temperatures to become the first person to swim at the North Pole.

Lewis Gordon Pugh took to the freezing waters on Sunday to highlight the devastating impact of climate change on the natural world.

It took him 18 minutes and 50 seconds to swim 0.6 miles in waters created by melted sea ice at temperatures of 29-degree F — the coldest a human has swum in.





-from funzu


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