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THE LITTLE BOAT

There was a little boy who lived by the sea and the one thing he loved best was to carve out little boats from the pieces of driftwood that came from that sea. One day he found washed up on the shore a solid block of wood so perfect for sculpting that he told himself, "This is going to be the best boat I'll make!" and so he proceeded to carve it, making sure that the details were perfect. After sculpting it, he sanded it and painted and lacquered it. He'd then take it wherever he went, always showing it off to his friends.

One day, he waded into the sea, put his little boat on the water, and watched it bob up and down on the water. He was very proud of his boat. But suddenly, a great wave descended on him and the little boat, and the wave engulfed the little boat until it drifted far, far away from the boy and disappeared. The boy ran to his father, crying, and his father tried to comfort him, to no avail.

The days went past, and became weeks, then months, but the boy still missed his little boat. One day, while he was accompanying his father to town, he wandered into a store, and there, among the other souvenirs and merchandise the store was selling, was his little boat! He then approached the owner, and asked him where he got the little boat over there by the shelf.

"Well now," said the owner, "someone came into the store just last week and sold me that little boat, and since it's a fine piece of craftsmanship, I thought it was a good deal."

"Sir, you see, I was the one who made that little boat." the boy said. "I carved it, sanded it, painted and lacquered it. It's the best little boat I ever made, and it got lost at sea and I've searched and searched for it and now I'm so happy to have found it. Can I have it back please?"

The owner looked at the boy, shook his head, and said, "I'm sorry son, but I paid for that little boat, and if you want to get it back, then you'd have to buy it ." The boy, who didn't have any money on him at the time, said, "Okay. I'll be back soon. Just keep it in reserve for me, okay?" Then he took one last look at his little boat, and ran to join his father. As soon as they came home, he went to his room, took his piggy bank, broke it, and counted the money in it. Alas, he came up short! He sat there, tears rolling down his face, and his father came in the room. "Son, what's the matter?," his father asked. So the boy told him what happened, and his father said, "Son, why do love that little boat so much? There are so many pieces of wood that wash up daily from the sea. You could make another little boat, or even more if you wished. "

The boy replied, "Father, I loved that little boat so much. I couldn't eat nor sleep, wondering what had happened to it all these months. And to have found it after all this time! Father, I don't care how much it costs, I'm going to work hard so I can save up to buy back my little boat." His father lovingly looked at his son's sad face, and said, "Okay, my son, I understand. Here, I'll give you the money to buy back your boat," and handed him the money. The boy hugged his father tightly, whispering, "Thank you, father." and ran off towards the store, and bought back his little boat. He took it home, cradling it in his arms, and showed it off to his father, his mother, and the rest of his family. From then on, he never let it drift too far at sea, and always kept it at his side.

Jesus is that boy, and you and I are that little boat. He molded us, polished us, cherished us so much, and when we drifted off where he couldn't find us or reach us, he became so sad. And, after having found us again, he did not hesitate to pay whatever price in order to redeem us. With Jesus, he paid for us by giving up his life. When you have someone who loves you that much, and you sometimes feel that nobody in this world really cares whether you come and go, take heart; somebody cares, and will never, ever let you out of his sight ever again.

(by: Fr. Arlo Yap, SVD from FOOD FOR THOUGHT)

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TAWA Muna

A Filipino, a German and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia , so for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back."

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.

The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back."

But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also led away whimpering loudly.

The Filipino was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from one of most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," the Filipino replied.

"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face.

"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it.

"And what is your second wish, ?" the Sheik asked.

Filipino smiled and said, "Tie the Pakistani to my back" !!!


****************** The End ******************

"TEACHER: Class draw a fish..!
CLASS: Yes ma'am!
TEACHER: Pedro, why is ur drawing very dirty..?
PEDRO: Ma'am, bagoong po yan."

****
"Pulis at Intsik:
Pulis: boss konting abuloy lang, may namatay na pulis.
Intsik: ako malaki migay amuloy masta alaw-alaw melon pulis paktay
oke.."

****
"PASYENTE: Dok. . . Ninenerbyos po ako! First operation ko po ito. . .
DOK: Alam ko ang nararamdaman mo. . .Kasi ikaw rin ang una kong
pasyente"

****

Tanga: kamusta yung exam mo.
Bobo: wala ako nasagutan, blanko yung papel ko. Ikaw?
Tanga: naku, blangko din yung papel ko, baka sabihin ni titser,
nagkopyahan tayo

****

"WIFE: maghiwalay na tayo!
MAN: ok,akin ang bahay!
WIFE: akin ang farm!
MAN: akin ang kotse!
WIFE: ah pero akin driver
MAN: pwes, magkakamatayan tyo, MATAGAL NA SIYANG AKIN!"

*****

"Mrs: hoy!Tama na yang beer mo masyado ka magastos
Mr: Ikaw make-up mo ang magastos
Mrs: Nagpapaganda ako para syo
Mr: Ako umiinom naman para gumanda ka!"

*****

"May bagong kasal:
MRS: Honey malapit na tayong maging 3 dito sa bahay
MR: Talaga honey? Pinasaya mo ako sa balita mo
MRS: Oo dito na titira ang nanay ko!"

****

REPORTER: Sir, kung wala po kayong evidence, witness or suspect ano na
po ang next step ninyo??
Police: DNA na...
REPORTER: sir, ano po yung DNA ???
Police: "Di Namin Alam "

*****
"Man1: Away kami ni misis, nag-Historical siya
Man2: Pare baka ang ibig mo sabihin ay nag-Hysterical
Man1: Hinde, historical kasi inungkat lahat ng kasalanan ko!"

****

A black baby is given a pair of wings by a fairy..
BABY: Does this mean I am an angel???
FAIRY: (laughs) of course not! tong negrang to! ambisyosa! PANIKI ka!!

*****

In a party, a handsome guy approached a girl and asked; are you going to
dance??
The girl felt so happy that someone finally asked her and she said;
"yes" and the guys said "that's good, can I have your chair??"

*******

"Naglalakad ang mag-ama, nakakita ng eroplano
ANAK: Tay! Krus! Ang laking krus!
TATAY(Binatukan ang anak): Nakita mo ng krus eh! Lumuhod tayo!"

******
Employee: boss pwede ba ako nalang ang papalit dun pwesto sa manager
natin na kamamatay lang?
Boss: ok lang sa akin na ikaw ang pumalit sa kanya, ewan ko lang kung
papayag ang punerarya :)

******

bobo1: Pare, alam mo ba tawag sa paniki na mababa ang lipad?
bobo2: hindi eh! ano ba pare?
bobo1: Lowbat pare! Lowbat!

****

Boy: Nay! Muntik na ako maging top one sa klase!
Nanay: Bat mo naman nasabi?
Boy: Ini-announce kasi kanina yung top one sa klase. Ang tinuro ni ma'am
yung katabi ko. Muntik na ako!

****

Bush visited the Philippines and Erap acted as his translator:
Bush: "Lets help one another..."
Erap: "Tayo'y magtulungan. .."
Bush: "...let's strive together..."
Erap: "...tayo'y magsikap..."
Bush: "...because in union there is strength."
Erap: "...dahil sa sibuyas may titigas!"

*****

Bongbong -- Pare sinong idol mo?
Chavit--Si Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Bongbong-- Sige nga, spell Schwarzenegger.
Chavit --Hindi, joke lang pare, si Jet Li talaga idol ko.

****

Erap writing on a slum book:
Favorite Actor:
Arnold Scharzene... ... (erase)
Arnold Schwarze... ... (erase)
Arnold Schwarzz... ... (erase)
Arnold Shwazenne... . ..(erase)
Arnold Shwazenner.. . ..(erase)
Arnold Shwarzenneg. . ..(erase)
Arnold Schchwarzenne. .. (erase)
Arnold Clavio

****

Pare 1: Pre, nasusuka ako kaya lang di ako masuka

Pare 2: Madali lang yan, pre ~ sundutin mo tonsils mo (pare 1 sinundot ang tonsils ..)

Pare 1: Di pa rin e Pare 2: Hmmmmm ... sundutin mo pwet mo (pare 1 sinundot ang pwet ...)

Pare 1: Wala pa rin

Pare 2: Ngayon, tsaka mo ule isundot sa bibig mo ... pag hindi ka pa masuka nyan ewan ko na!

*****

Sa isang ospital...
Lola (may cancer) : Doc, anong gagawin nyo sa akin?
Doc : Che-chemo, lola.
Lola : Titi mo rin! Bastos ka! walang modo!

****

Holduper: Pili ka, wallet mo o pasabugin utak mo?
Biktima: Ikaw na bahala..bastaa pareho po yan walang laman!

****

Pare1: Pare, bat naman hanggang ngayon wala ka pang syota? wala ka pa
bang napupusuan?
Pare2: Meron.. Manhid ka lang!
(nyahahahaha! )

*****

Sa isang mumurahing airline:
Stewardess: Sir, would you like some dinner?
Passenger: Ano ba ang mga choices?
Stewardess: 'Yes' or 'No' lang po.

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Famous Statements

1. God is real, unless declared integer

2. Before borrowing money from a friend, decide whether you need more.

3. Death is hereditary.

4. There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side.

5. An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

6. Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.

7. Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

8. When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

9. Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

10. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

11. Well done is better than well said.

12. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.

13. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

14. If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

15. Where there's a will there are five hundred relatives.

16. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

-thanks to funlok

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Ease up!

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Pinoy Power!!!

Pinoy is what Filipinos call each other, a term of endearment. You're Pinoy from Pilipino, just like you're tisoy from mestizo, or chinoy from chino.

It's a nickname just as Minoy is from Maximo, Ninoy from Benigno, Tinay from Florentina and Kikay from Francisca. But now they're Maxi and Ben and Tintin and Cheska.

You've been called indio , goo-goo, negro, flip, noypits. Or Filipino, a biscuit that is brown outside and white inside, or a word stricken from the dictionary which means domestic. Ay, lintik!

You're Juan de la Cruz or Mang Pandoy. You're common tao, masa, urban poor but also Cecile Licad and Don Jaime, Jose Rizal and Tony Meloto, Shawie and Pacquiao and Nick Joaquin, galing galing.

Born June 12, 1896 , the Republic of the RP is a Gemini, good at connecting, good at loving-loving, good at texting and interpersonal skills. Filipinos like to yakap, akbay, hawak, kalong, kalabit. We sleep side by side, siping-siping, we go out kabit kabit.

There's lots of us to go around. Someone always to listen to a sob story, even in a jeepney, to share-a-load or to share a TV.

Everyone's tito, tita

Who has a hipag, a bayaw, a bilas, a balae, a kinakapatid? Who has an ate, dete, diche, kuya, diko? The maids call her ate, the driver calls him kuya and everybody is tito or tita.

Who has a Lola Baby, a Tito Totoy, a bosing called Sir Peewee, his wife Ma'am Lovely and their kids Cla Cla and Cring Cring?

The Pinoy lives in a condo, a mansion, an apartment, a bahay na bato, ilalim ng tulay, Luneta, Forbes Park , and Paris too!

He's a citizen of the world, he's in all the villages and capitals, colonizing the West, bringing his guitar and his bagoong, his walis na tingting, his tabo, his lolo and lola.

Where there's a beat, there's a Pinoy. You'll find her singing in a nightclub in Tokyo , a musical in London , the Opera House in Sydney . Sure, they've got the infrastructure, the theaters and architecture. Who but Pinoys direct their plays, or trains their company managers, and imports our teachers, by the way?

Viagra to Victoria 's Secret

Look at that baggage - all pasalubong, none for herself. From bedsheet to hair color, Toblerone to carpet, Viagra to paella pan, Victoria 's Secret to microwave.

Hey, Joe, don't envy me 'cause I'm brown, you'll get ultra violet from that sun and turn red not brown.

Just lucky, I guess. God put us all in the oven, but some were uncooked and some were burned, but me, I came out golden brown!

Hey, Kristoff! Hey David and Ann! Your Pinoy yaya makes your kids gentler, more obedient, she teaches them how to pray. Hey Big Brother! Hey Grandma Moses! Who but Pinoy nurses make your sick days easier all the way?

We made the jeepney, the karaoke, the fluorescent bulb, the moon buggy. We invented People Power and crispy pata; popularized virgin coconut oil, scaled the Everest and made it with Cebu furniture abroad among the best. Ever trying for the Guinness World Record - with the longest swim of a child, the longest kiss, the longest longanisa.

Linguist

The Pinoy is a linguist. As in. As if. For a while. Open the light. Close the light. Paki ganyan naman ang kuwan sa ano. Tuck in. Tuck out. Don't be high blood. If you're ready na, I'll pass for you.

Hayop; Hanep! Bongga ka 'day, feel na feel kita, kilig to the bones ako. Don't make wala, don't make tampo. Taralets na, babes, let's go, nababato na ang syota mo.

I'm inviting you to my party, please RSVP. Oo means "yes" or "maybe," or "yes if you insist," or "maybe if it doesn't rain."

"Yes" is also a nice way of saying "no." Yes, hindi kita sisiputin. "No," eto na ako at ang barkada ko. Please don't ask a Pinoy a question like that!

Just flows

She's not so exact, not so chop-chop, she just flows and flows. Filipino time? Naku, huli din naman ang Kano !

The Pinoy finds time to be nice, to be kind, to apologize, to be there when you're depressed, to help you with your utang and your wedding dress.

The Filipino is a giver, never mind what it does to his liver, never mind what it takes.
Hardships of the Third World don't dry up his blood, they just make him more compassionate, more feeling, of the other guy's lot.

Note that the maid sends all her wages home to ailing daddy. She is the OCW whose labor of loneliness created the original katas ng Saudi.

Bahala na

The Filipino is fearless, bahala na si Batman, which actually means Bathala na or "leave all to God." Okay lang if I die by bitay, okay lang if I live, okay lang if I survive by the skin of my teeth.

Saway ni Inay: Di ka naman Bill Gates, di ka naman French, mahirap nang magbuhat ng sarili mong bench.

-anonymous

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Why Do We Love?

why do we love ba?
so we can have somebody to talk to?
someone who can be there pag gusto natin gumala?
a person na pwedeng manlibre sa atin?
taong magbibitbit ng gamit mo?
alalay for short!
eh pano kung di ka niya mahal?
would you still love him/her?
would you still continue to care for that person?
bakit naman hindi?
you didn't love that person para magkaroon ka ng alalay,
magkaroon ka ng instant meal dahil libre,
taong gagawa ng assignments mo or projects,
or taong mahihila mo if you want to go out...

If that's what you think about love, well sorry, ang babaw mo, loving a person doesn't need to have a criteria na dapat maganda o guwapo, dapat mabait or understanding, kasi, once you fall in love, you take the risk of accepting that person kahit maingay siya matulog, ung hilik ng hilik kahit matakaw siya or sobrang fat na hindi na kayo kasya pag puno ang jeep! Kahit sobrang moody nya na kulang na lang ay sapakin mo sa inis!

Yung sobrang selosa na pati barkada pinagseselosan! bad trip diba? Yung stupid na kulang na lang iuntog mo sa pader para magtino! and yung napaka-arte,

OA kumbaga! Isama na rin natin yung mga sobrang kulit! O kahit ano pang things that would turn you off...

Hirap talaga magmahal trying to be perfect kasi gusto mong magtagal pero hindi yun ang sagot sa lahat....

ACCEPTING the real person fully kasi if you said na mahal mo siya you don't need to find answers kung WHY mo siya love...

Kasi lahat ng tao nagbabago but if you accept that person magbago man siya in the middle of your relationship hindi ka masasaktan kasi you know that darating din yun...
chaka tanggap mo siya ng buo...

Mahirap gawin pero masarap subukan dahil wala ng sasaya pa if you let one person feel na MAHAL NA MAHAL mo siya without asking for anything in return... then you can say, "WOW! Yun pala ang LOVE!"

-lsr677

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Ang Kawawang Mga Magulang

A friend of mine emailed this to me.. hay, ang buhay nga naman..

Dear Anak,

Na-ipadala ko na ang 50 thousand pesos na tuition fee mo, ibininta na namin ang mga kalabaw natin. Ang mahal pala ng kursong COUNTER STRIKE. Wala na din pala tayong baboy na-ibenta na din para dun sa sinasabi mo na project nyo na NOKIA N75, ang mahal naman pala ng project na yun. Kasama din ang 7 thousand dun para sa field trip nyo sa MALL OF ASIA. Anak, malayo ba ang lugar na yun? Mag-ingat ka sa pagbibiyahe mo. Isa-sanla pala namin ang palayan natin para mabili mo na yung instrumentong I-POD na kinakailangan mo sa laboratory nyo. Anak, komportable ka ba dyan sa boarding house mo? Saan ba kamo yang VICTORIA COURT? Maganda ba dyan anak, hindi ba mainit? Anak, kamusta na pala yung group project nyo na SANMIG LIGHT? Napa-ilaw nyo na ba? Mataas ba ang nakuha ninyong grado dun?

Anak, sana bago pa ma-ubos ang lahat lahat ng mga ari-arian natin ay maka gradweyt ka na. Walong taon ba talaga ang kurso mong yan na SECRETARIAL? Sana pag gradweyt mo makakuha ka kaagad ng trabaho kagaya ng manager ng kumpanya para mabawi natin ang mga ari-arian natin sa sanglaan. Ay syanga pala anak, di ba sabi mo na sa JOLLIBEE at MAK DONALD ka palaging kumakain, ok ba naman sayo ang mga ulam dyan? Baka hindi masarap, kawawa ka naman. Eh, yung school bus ninyo na TAXI sabihin mo sa driver na mag ingat sya sa pag dri-drive. Anak, hanggang dito na lang at sa susunod ay ipa-padala ko sayo ang pera na pambili mo ng ALTIS na gagamitin mo sa VACANT SUBJECT mo.

Ang nagmamahal,

Itang at Inang

P.S. Anak mag-aral kang mabuti. Ingatan mo ang katawan mo. Huwag ka munang mag-asawa. Ikaw lang ang pag-asa namin para mahango tayo sa kahirapan.

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Ewww.. Consequences of too much drinking

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Funniest School Excuse Notes!!

These are the top ten funniest excuse notes from parents collected by schools from all over this country.

1. Please excuse Sheryl for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

2. Jimmy has been absent yesterday because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

3. My daughter is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute her.

4. Please excuse Jenny. She has been sick and under the doctor.

5. Sandra won't be in school a week from today. We have to attend her funeral.

6. Please excuse Lanie from Jim today. She is administrating.

7. Kevin was absent from school yesterday because he was playing football. He was damaged in the growing part.

8. Amy could not come to school today because she was bothered by very close veins.

9. Please excuse Johnny for being. It was his father's fault.

10. Please excuse Jesse from school. He had very loose vowels.

-Mr-desi

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MEN n WOMEN

Men:

1. All men are extremely busy.

2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.

3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.

4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one Around.

5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their Luck with others.

6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off If the women leaves them.

7. Although the women leaves them they still don't learn from their Mistakes and still try their luck with others.

***************
Women:

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.

2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive Clothes.

3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something To wear.

4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress Beautifully.

5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "An old rag".

6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still Expect you to compliment them.

7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't Believe you

-Mr.-desi

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Cold Water Swimming Informal Record

A British explorer has braved sub-zero temperatures to become the first person to swim at the North Pole.

Lewis Gordon Pugh took to the freezing waters on Sunday to highlight the devastating impact of climate change on the natural world.

It took him 18 minutes and 50 seconds to swim 0.6 miles in waters created by melted sea ice at temperatures of 29-degree F — the coldest a human has swum in.

-from funzu

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slap me

Do you feel like slapping someone?? Try this one it's nice…

Click below

http://www.counterfeitmini.com/main.swf

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Great Ad on Gandhiji.... It's Amazing

Superb Advertisement- shows popularity and respect to Gandhiji,

A great ad.... Ironically from a non- Indian company!!

And none the less This ad won the EPICA awards for best ad.

Click the link below:

http://www.epica-awards.org/assets/epica/2004/winners/film/flv/11071.htm

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Funny Pics..

- thanks to funlok

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Do you know ....

This is awesome - I bet you didn't know this...

Letters 'a', 'b', 'c' & 'd' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 99


(Letter 'd' comes for the first time in Hundred)

Letters 'a', 'b' & 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999


(Letter 'a' comes for the first time in Thousand)

Letters 'b' & 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999,999,999


(Letter 'b' comes for the first time in Billion)

And

Letter 'c' does not appear anywhere in in the spellings of entire English Counting.

-funlok

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How men get into trouble!!!

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe.

"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe.

"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

******

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river.

When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez.

"Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord.. It is a misunderstanding.

You see, if I had said 'no' to Jennifer Lopez , You would have come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three.

Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to Jennifer Lopez."

-from funlok.com

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"CALL CENTER HUMOR"

MGA SABLAY HIRIT...

"Well well well. Look do we have here!"
"Let's give them a big hand of applause."
"The more the manyer."
"It's a no-win-win situation."
"Burn the bridge when you get there."
"Anulled and void."
"Mute and academic."
"C'mon let's join us!"
"If worse comes to shove."
"Are you joking my leg?"
"It's not my problem anymore, it's your problem anymore."
"What are friends are for?"
"You can never can tell."
"Been there, been that."
"Forget it about it."
"Give him the benefit of the daw."
"It's a blessing in the sky."
"Right there and right then."
"Where'd you came from?"
"Take things first at a time."
"You're barking at the wrong dog."
"You want to have your cake and bake it too."
"First and for all."
"Now and there."
"I'm only human nature."
"The sky's the langit."
"That's what I'm talking about it."
"One of these days is not like the other."
"So far, so good, so far."
"Time is of the elements."
"In the wink of an eye."
"The feeling is actual."
"For all intense and purposes."
"I ran into some errands."
"Hi. I'm , what's yours?"
"What is the world is coming to?"
"What is the next that is?"
"Get the most of both worlds."
"Bahala na sila sa mga batman nila."
"Whatever you say so."
"Base-to-base casis."
"My answers have been prayered."
"Please me alone!"
'It's as brand as new."
"So... what's a beautiful girl like you?...."
"I can't take it anymore of this!"
"Are you sure ka na ba?"
"Can't you just cut me some slacks?"

ETO PA....

1. I couldn't care a damn!
2. What's your next class before this?(ANO DAW???!!!)
3. Nothing in this world is perfect except the word "change"
4. Can you repeat that for the second time around once more from the top?(ulitin natin hanggang mamatay tayo!)
5. My dad brought home a lot of hand-me-downs! (Translation: Daming pasalubong ng tatay ko.)
6. Standard and Chartered Bank
7. I'm very iterated!!! (transalation: galit sya! haha!)
8. I'm sorry, my boss just passed away. (translation: kakadaan lang ng boss nya.)
9. Hello, my boss is out of town. Would you like to wait?
10. What happened after the erection of Mayon Volcano?
11. Don't touch me not!
12. Hello?... For a while, please hang yourself...
13. Its spilled milk under the bridge.
14. Don't change anything! Keep it at ease.
15. Hello McDo? Mag-i-inquire lang ako kung magkano ang kidney meal? (yung pang-batang pagkain)
16. You!!! You're not a boy anymore! You're a man anymore! (hmmm...sounds familiar)
17. Out of fit ako these days eh... (translation: di sya nakakapag-exercise)
18. Come, lets join us!
19. Bring down the house down!
20. I'm the world champion of the World!!!
21. Beneath the Belt!
22. Rule of Hand... (thumb yata ibig sabihin...)

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WORDS WOMEN USE

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your basketball game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows! )
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over
"Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD!
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint! Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"

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