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3 Easy Ways to Die :

. Tuesday, April 29, 2008
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Take a Cigar daily - You will die 10 years early.

Drink Rum daily - You will die 30 years early.

Love Someone Truly - You will die daily.

***

1. A foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.

2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :

*Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD
*After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY

3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :

1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman

Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANYONE..

4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.

5. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.

They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them.

Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.

Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone..

Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path..

Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.

6. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life.

If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.

7. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.

Answer : On their MARRIAGE.

8. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness.

Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.

9. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.

Because per Constitution, you can NOT BE PUNISHED TWICE for the same Mistake.


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And he wants to be President?

. Monday, April 28, 2008
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I got this from epic25@yahoogroup. I'm not against Sen. Obama, I just find this very funny. I wonder if this one is authentic.



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Tawa Muna Tayo

TEACHER: pangit ng name mo, Conrado Domingo! In short, CONDOM!
PUPIL: ok lang po ma'am! Pero mas pangit sa husband ninyo. Supronio Potenciano! In short, SUPOT!
> > > ------------ --------- --------- ---------> > >
REPORTER: Tita Cory, kung buhay si Ninoy ngayon, baka pangulo nasiya.
CORY: Naka bilanggo siguro
REPORTER: bakit naman po?
CORY: baka napatay na niya si Kris.
> > > ------------ --------- --------- ---------> > >
JUDGE: isa ka palang pusher, kidnapper, gun for hire, gambling lord, swindler at bugaw! Wala ka bang matinong hanapbuhay?
ACCUSED: meron po. Pulis po ako.
> > > ----------- ----------- ----------- ------------> > >
GIRL: lahat ng politiko, kawatan!
MAN: sakit mo naman magsalita!
GIRL: bakit, politiko ka ba?
MAN: hindi, kawatan!
> > > ------------ --------- --------- ---------> > >
BETH: halata na ang tiyan mo. Bakit hindi pa kayo papakasal ng BF mo?
MARIA: ayaw ng pamilya niya eh.
BETH: sino may ayaw, tatay o Nanay?
MARIA: yung misis niya.
> > > ------------ --------- --------- ---------> > >
Young lady to the new parish priest:
LADY: Father, ang cute mo, bakit pumayag kang magpari?
PRIEST: Ayaw kasi pumayag ni mama na mag-MADRE ako!
> > > ------------ --------- --------- ---------> > >
SPANISH
TEACHER: class, use FUERA in a sentence.
PUPIL: mi maestras son bonitas (all the teachers are beautiful)
TEACHER: oh, that's very flattering, but where's FUERA?
PUPIL: FUERA ka!
> > > ------------ --------- --------- ---------> > >
JEEP PASSENGER: manong bayad.
DRIVER: saan galling?
PASSENGER: sa akin.
DRIVER: papunta saan?
PASSENGER: sayo
> > > ------------ -------- --------- ---------> > >
Mister: Kung gagawa ako ng pelikula, gusto ko, ako si ZORRO!
Misis: Eh ako, sino?
Mister: Si DACOS!
Misis: Dacos? Sino 'yun!
Mister: DA COS of all my ZORROs!
> > > ----------- ---------- ------------ --> > >
Job interview...
Boss: Ano ang alam mo?
Rommel: Alam ko po kung saan kayo nakatira ng misis mo, at kung saan nakatira ang kabit mo.
Boss: Tanggap ka na!
> > > ------------ -- ------------ ---- ----> > >
Tomas: Sobrang tabatsoy na ang misis ko kaya gusto niyang magbawas ng timbang. Nag-horseback riding siya...
Jorge: Ano'ng resulta?
Tomas: Nabawasan ng 10 kilos 'yung kabayo!
> > > ------------ ---- ------------ ------> > >
Ama: Kumusta ang pag-aaral mo?
Anak: Nag-lesson at test po kami tungkol sa mga manok.
Ama: Ano, madali ba?
Anak: Chicken na chicken!
Ama: Anong grade mo?
Anak: Itlog po.
> > > ------------ -- --------- -----------> > >
Dalawang bank holdaper...
Holdaper #1: Yehey! Mayaman na tayo!
Holdaper #2: Bilangin mo na!
Holdaper: Alam mo namang mahina ako sa math.
Abangan na lang natin sa balita kung magkano!
> > > -------- ----------- ----------- -----> > >
Guro: What is 34 books + 25 books?
Pilo: 59 books po.
Guro: Good. Ang 18 + 29 + 30 books?
Pilo: 77 books.
Guro: Very good. Now, what is 950 + 136 + 672 + 490 + 854 books?
Pilo: Ma'am, library po!
> > > ------------ - ------------ --------> > >
Pasyente: Okey ba ang services sa ospital na ito?
Doktor: Oo naman. Sigurado 'yon.
Pasyente: Paano kung hindi ako satisfied?
Doktor: Ibabalik namin ang sakit mo.


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7 Dont's After a Meal

. Sunday, April 27, 2008
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*Don't smoke - Experiment from experts proves that smoking a cigarette after meal is comparable to smoking 10 cigarettes (chances of cancer is higher).

* Don't eat fruits immediately - Immediately eating fruits after meals will cause stomach to be bloated with air. Therefore take fruit 1-2 hr after meal or 1hr before meal.



* Don't drink tea - Because tea leaves contain a high content of acid. This substance will cause the Protein content in the food we consume to be hardened thus difficult to digest.

* Don't loosen your belt - Loosening the belt after a meal will easily cause the intestine to be twisted & blocked.




* Don't bathe - Bathing will cause the increase of blood flow to the hands, legs & body thus the amount of blood around the stomach will therefore decrease. This will weaken the digestive system in our stomach.

* Don't walk about - People always say that after a meal walk a hundred steps and you will live till 99. In actual fact this is not true. Walking will cause the digestive system to be unable to absorb the nutrition from the food we intake.

* Don't sleep immediately - The food we intake will not be able to digest properly. Thus will lead to gastric & infection in our intestine.


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Tip for Today: How to smell a scam

. Saturday, April 26, 2008
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A friend of mine emailed this to me, I'm sure a lot of you have heard of this, actually there's one in our place, without naming it, this company actually has already a total investments of P540 million in CARAGA region alone, and they say CARAGA is one of the poorest region in the Philippines-so much for statistics.


(This is part of Take Charge of Your Money, a content-partnership agreement between INQUIRER.net and Citibank Philippines, to educate readers on keeping their personal finances healthy)


Question: I just read recently about yet another investment scam that victimized a lot of people in the country, basketball stars included. They were duped in the millions of pesos and dollars. How can one tell if an investment scheme offered is a scam or not? I’d like to invest but want to be sure the plan I get is legitimate. — Joey

Answer: It’s sad to know that there are unscrupulous people who victimize unsuspecting investors. It has happened before several times, and it’s happening yet again. And this is not unique to the Philippines; investment scams have been reported all over the world for decades.

In fact, the notorious Ponzi scheme is named after Charles Ponzi, a man who cheated a lot of people in the US back in the 1920s. He became a millionaire in Boston using his investment scheme. The Ponzi scheme works this way: High returns are promised to would-be investors. The investors then plunk money into the company. More investors are enticed by the company and their money is used to pay off the promised high returns to the first investors. It goes on and on but will collapse later on as there really is no revenue generated. In the meantime, the owners of the company may have already fled with the investors’ money.

The pyramiding scheme is somewhat similar to the Ponzi scheme. However, investors are made to recruit new investors (to be called their “downlines”), and if they don’t, they won’t get much in return. There is no real product or service offered in a pyramiding scam, thus no revenue too. This scheme is also doomed to collapse, with the owners running away with the money.

Many investment scams have already victimized a lot of people in the country. In fact, the FrancSwiss Investment scam has made it to Wikipedia’s Notable Ponzi Schemes. According to that website, as of 2007, the company has allegedly victimized Filipinos to the tune of P1 billion.

How can you ensure that an investment proposition is legitimate and not a fraud? How can one tell if a scheme is a scam? Below are red flag signs to watch out for.

1. The investment plan offers or guarantees an interest rate that is much higher than prevailing market rates. In fact, these rates may be too good to be true. Beware of promises such as “50 percent return in 90 days,” or “double your money in 1 year.” These are unbelievable rates of return which the legitimate investment market will not be able to give.

Before signing up for an investment plan, study the prevailing market rates. Long term time deposit rates can go up as high as 6 percent per annum. Research on the Internet and go to legitimate websites of Philippine banks and financial companies and see how their mutual funds and unit investment trust funds are performing to give you an idea of the yearly average rate of returns. These may run up to only 20 percent per annum. Clearly then, a 100 percent return on your investment is very fishy.

2. The company does not take time to explain the concept of the investment thoroughly and pressures you into making a decision. They may give you testimonials of “satisfied” investors and just make a quick run down on the kinds of investments they will handle for you. Or they present you with awesome presentations of high risk investments you are not thoroughly familiar with, such as accounts receivable factoring, dollar hedging, commodities trading, etc., capitalizing on people’s unfamiliarity with such forms of investments and promising high returns.
Before you get into any investment, you should be given all the details of the offer or plan. You should also be given as much time as you need to study your options. Don’t ever be bullied into making an investment decision.

3. The company has no track record. When you get an investment proposal from a company you have never heard of, be extra cautious. Find out all that you can about the company: who started it, when was it incorporated, and what is the track record of the company so far. Some scammers may brag that they are a new offshore branch of a company based abroad that is why they have never been heard of. That’s even more reason to be cautious.

You can get information from the Securities and Exchange Commission, and from knowledgeable people among your network. When in doubt, do not transact business with that company. Instead, deal only with banks and established financial investment companies.

4. The company does not have a physical office address. If the company is legitimate and will handle investments from many people, they have to have a reputable office address, one that you can go into at any time of the day, or call by phone anytime during office hours. Take note though that there have been some companies with physical addresses that still turned out to be swindlers so be careful.

5. When you do finally invest, you have difficulty getting your money after some time. The returns may be very attractive at first, but in the long run, their checks may start bouncing, or you may be given promissory notes for the returns promised to you. Or they suddenly impose strict procedures, such as not allowing withdrawal for a very long period of time contrary to what was explained to you at first. When any of these happen, contact the Securities and Exchange Commission right away.

Investing is a good way to manage one’s money. Just make sure you go into it with legitimate entities.


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Maxthon: Really Good For Me!

. Friday, April 25, 2008
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I found another web browser which in my opinion is quite better. The Maxthon Internet Browser software -- a powerful tabbed browser with a highly customizable interface. A browser based on the Internet Explorer engine(your most likely current web browser) which means that what works in the IE browser will work the same in Maxthon tabbed browser but with many additional efficient features like...

*Tabbed Browsing Interface
*Mouse Gestures
*Super Drag&Drop
*Privacy Protection
*AD Hunter
*RSS Reader
*IE Extensions Support
*External Utility Bar
*Skinning


Plus some of my fave features include the ability to set up bookmark groups, such as news or blog sites, that open on start-up and the ability to autoscroll web pages without the mouse.


Try this for FREE! Click HERE for free download.


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Speak English!

1) Contemplate - kulang ang mga pinggan
2) Punctuation - pera para maka-enrol
3) Ice Buko - nagtatanong kung ayos na ang buhok
4) Tenacious - sapatos na pang tennis
5) Calculator - tawagan kita mamaya
6) Devastation - sakayan ng bus
7) Protestant - Tindahan ng prutas
8) Statue - Ikaw ba yan?
9) Tissue - Ikaw nga!
10) Predicate - Pakawalan mo ang pusa
11) Dedicate - Pinatay ang pusa
12) Aspect - Pantusok o pandurog ng yelo
13) Deduct - Ang pato
14) Defeat - Ang paa (ng pato?)
15) Detail - Ang buntot (ng pato?)
16) Deposit - Gripo (Call DIPLOMA if DEPOSIT is leaking)
17) City - Bago mag-utso; A number to follow 6
18) Cattle - Doon nakatila ang Hali at Leyna
19) Persuading - Unang Kasal
20) Depress - Ang nagkasal sa PERSUADING>
22) Defense - Ginamit ng mga pangsulat sa kontrata sa PERSUADING
23) It depends - Kainin mo ang bakod
24) Shampoo - Bago mag-labing-isha (11)
25) Delusion - Maluwang (kapag maluwang ang damit, eh DELUSION)
26) Delivery - Walang bayad. Kapag working lunch, eh DELIVERY na ang tanghalian
27) Profit - Patunayan mo
28) Balance Sheet - What comes out after eating a balance diet
29) Backlog - bacon saka egg
30) Beehive - magpakatino ka
31) CD-ROM - tingnan mo ang kwarto
32) Debug - ang ipis
33) Defrag - ang palaka
34) Defense - ang bakod
35) Defer - ang balahibo
36) Deflate - ang plato
37) Detest - ang eksamin
38) Devalue - 'yon ang susunod sa letrang V
39) Devote - ang boto
40) Dilemma - brownout!. a!
41) Effort - 'dun nagla-land ang efflane
42) Forums - apat na kwarto
43) July - nagsinungaling ka ba?

ei, baka meron pa kayung maidagdag dyan.. share nyo naman.


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Pencil Drawings --- Beautiful

. Thursday, April 24, 2008
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These are beautiful, when a friend of mine emailed this to me. Wew, it takes a few minutes for it to come up on the screen, but it is well worth waiting for. Hope you enjoy as much as I did. Christ laughing! A concept I haven't seen before.









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Another Pinay Conquers the World

. Wednesday, April 23, 2008
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Pinoys really are world class, after Charice Pempengco here comes another pinay who also conquered the world.

On the second episode of Britain’s Got Talent season 2, the 33-year-old single mom named Madonna Decena blew the judges and the audience away with her rendition of the Whitney Houston classic “I Will Always Love You.”


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Marriage Jokes!

Marriage - Part I

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night ........ whether you're here or not."

(SHE'S GOOD!)

Marriage (Part II)

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:

"Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "

"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:

"Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last"

(HE ASKED FOR IT!)

Marriage (Part III)

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.

After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?"

She says, "I was in bed."

"In bed this early, doing what?"

"Getting a second opinion!"

(YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)

Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" inspite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

(RIGHT ON, LADY!)

Marriage (Part V) The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.


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Agree or disagree?

. Tuesday, April 22, 2008
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RELATIONSHIPS: When a relationship ends, a woman cries her tear ducts dry, yaks on and on to her gfs, writes a poem, listens to sad music, raids the shops at Megamall ang goes on a full beauty make-over-all these in a month or less. Then she goes on with her life. A man only reacts from 6 mos to a year after break-up. This is the 3 a.m. drunken call he makes to his ex: "I hate you, you ruined my life...Uh, baka pwede pa tayo?"

MATURITY: Women take to maturity faster and earlier. A 16-year-old female can effectively care for an infant. A 16-year-old male can make the family dog drink Tanduay. That's why high school romances rarely work out.

PHONE ATTITUDE: A man uses the phone only if he has something specific to say: "Pare basket tayo bukas. Gym. 8 sharp. Bye." He delivers a short telegraphic message ang hangs up after 6 minutes. A woman doesn't need a particular reason to call a friend. She can visit her gal pal for a week and upon returning home, call the same friend and chat for three hours!

HANDWRITING: Men's chicken-scratch handwriting gives us a headache. Women's letters give men migraine: she uses scented and colored stationaries and dot her i's with circles and hearts. She writes to dump him and puts a smiley face or a sunflower at the end of the letter.

DIRECTIONS: When a female driver gets lost, she stops at a gas station and asks for directions. (tayo nga kahit tric driver eh!) A male driver simply won't even if a little voice inside his head is going, "May makakakita pa kaya sa atin na buhay?" He'll drive around for two hours trying to figure a way out.

PHOTOGRAPHY: Men take photography very seriously. They shell out thousands of pesos for state-of-the-art cameras and other equipment, build dark rooms and take photography classes. Women buy Kodak instamatics... and end up taking better pix.

BOXING: Observe a couple watching a boxing match on TV. Dela Hoya knock Chavez down and the wife says, "Kawawa naman, ang sakit siguro." Her husband groans, doubles over and actually feels the pain.

VANITY: Men are vain. They check their reflection on mirrors every chance they get. Women will check themselves out on shiny surface: mirrors, spoons, silver balloons, store windows, some guy's bald head.

TOYS: Little girls love toys but outgrow them at age 11 or 12. When little boys grow older, their toys just get more expensive, not to mention SILLY and IMPRACTICAL - mini TVs, car phones, VIDEO GAMES!

DRESSING UP: Women will dress up to go to the mall, beauty parlor or even the grocery store at the corner. Men dress up for weddings.

BODY: Women's magazines have a lot of naked woman on their pages. Men's magazines feature lots of naked women, too. For men, a woman's body is a work of art. For women, a man's body is hairy and lumpy.

HYGIENE:
A man has 6 items (toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, shaving cream, soap, shampoo) in the bathroom. Woman has 247, including such indispensible products as hypoallergenic facial hair removing cream, dramatically different and non-fragrance clarifying lotion #10 and apricot scrubs!!!

EATING OUT: When eating out, men will each throw out large bills. No one has a smaller bill and some unlucky guy would end up paying just so they can get the hell out. When women dine out, as soon as the check arrives, out comes pocket calculators!! (and even celfone calcu!!)

TRAVEL:
If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack for 5 days worth of clothes and he will wear some things twice. A woman will pack 21 changes of clothes coz she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.

RESTROOMS: Men use restrooms for purely biological reasons. Women see restrooms as social lounges. Men in a restroom will not speak to each other. Women who have never met before will leave a restroom giggling together like old friends. And NEVER in the history of the world has a man excused himself from a restaurant by saying, "Pare, i got to pee. wanna join me?" (bwahaahahahaha)


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LAWS ON BUILDING PERSONAL WEALTH

STRATEGIES THAT WORK

1.) Start early (Start right now!) Its not how much you save, but how early you start saving. Or investing



2.) Plan at least 5 to 10 years ahead, When she turned 21, Sharon Cuneta took financial control of money earned since her first record, “Mr. DJ,” was released several years earlier. By all accounts, the singer/actress has since managed her money well- spending less than what she earned, investing wisely her surplus funds, and planning a more than comfortable future for herself and for her daughter, KC Concepcion, that included regular trips abroad and schooling in the best possible schools. At any given point, she knows how much she is worth.

Today, Cuneta has two other daughters, both of pre-school age, which she has now included in her financial plans and Concepcion is studying in Paris.

3.) Get College covered (refer to no.2) and please remember that tuition fee is only 30% of total college cost; the other 70% is for misc. fees.

4.) Hedge against long-term disability. Get an accident and health insurance. Your money amassed should be enjoyed, and not used to pay for hospital bills.

5.) Get a life insurance policy. Your loved ones shouldn’t be financially displaced in the event of your untimely death.



6.) Keep it simple

7.) Keep your asset allocations current (ie: make savings automatic)

8.) Live below your means (earn more-spend less)

9.) Never buy on credit

10.)Don’t rely on your instincts; they’re probably wrong.


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Brain Damaging Habits

. Sunday, April 13, 2008
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1. No Breakfast
People who do not take breakfast are going to have a lower blood sugar level. This leads to an insufficient supply of nutrients to the brain causing brain degeneration.

2. Overeating
It causes hardening of the brain arteries, leading to a decrease in mental power.

3. Smoking

It causes multiple brain shrinkage and may lead to Alzheimer disease.

4. High Sugar consumption

Too much sugar will interrupt the absorption of proteins and nutrients causing malnutrition and may interfere with brain development.


5. Air Pollution

The brain is the largest oxygen consumer in our body. Inhaling polluted air decreases the supply of oxygen to the brain, bringing about a decrease in brain efficiency.

6. Sleep Deprivation
Sleep allows our brain to rest. Long term deprivation from sleep will accelerate the death of brain cells.

7. Head covered while sleeping

Sleeping with the head covered increases the concentration of carbon dioxide and decrease concentration of oxygen that may lead to brain damaging effects.

8. Working your brain during illness

Working hard or studying with sickness may lead to a decrease in effectiveness of the brain as well as damage the brain.

9. Lacking in stimulating thoughts
Thinking is the best way to train our brain, lacking in brain stimulation thoughts may cause brain shrinkage.

10. Talking Rarely
Intellectual conversations will promote the efficiency of the brain.


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The top five cancer-causing foods

. Saturday, April 12, 2008
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1. Hot dogs - Because they are high in nitrates.
The Cancer Prevention Coalition advises that children eat no more than 12 hot dogs a month. If you can't live without hot dogs, buy those made without sodium nitrate.


2. Processed meats and bacon

Also high in the same sodium nitrates found in hot dogs, bacon, and other processed meats raise the risk of heart disease. The saturated fat in bacon also contributes to cancer.


3. Doughnuts

Doughnuts are cancer-causing double trouble. First, they are made with white flour, sugar, and hydrogenated oils, then fried at high temperatures. Doughnuts, says Adams , may be the worst food you can possibly eat to raise your risk of cancer.


4. French fries
Like dough nuts, French fries are made with hydrogenated oils and then fried at high temperatures. They also contain cancer- causing acryl amides which occur during the frying process. They should be called cancer fries, not French fries, said Adams .

5. Chips, crackers, and cookies

All are usually made with white flour and sugar. Even the ones whose labels claim to be free of trans-fats generally contain small amounts of trans-fats.


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Reasons for sleeping and waking up early:

. Tuesday, April 8, 2008
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Evening at 9 - 11pm: is the time for eliminating unnecessary/toxic chemicals (detoxification) from the antibody system (lymph nodes). This time duration should be spent by relaxing or listening to music. If during this time a housewife is still in an unrelaxed state such as washing the dishes or monitoring children doing their homework, this will have a negative impact on health. Evening at 11pm - 1am: is the detoxification process in the liver, and ideally should be done in a deep sleep state.

Early morning 1 - 3am: detoxification process in the gall, also ideally done in a deep sleep state.

Early morning 3 - 5am: detoxification in the lungs. Therefore there will sometimes be a severe cough for cough sufferers during this time. Since the detoxification process had reached the respiratory tract, there is no need to take cough medicine so as not to interfere with toxin removal process.

Morning 5 - 7am: detoxification in the colon, you should empty your bowel.

Morning 7 - 9am: absorption of nutrients in the small intestine, you should be having breakfast at this time. Breakfast should be earlier, before 6:30am, for those who are sick.

Breakfast before 7:30am is very beneficial to those wanting to stay fit . Those who always skip breakfast, they should change their habits, and it is still better to eat breakfast late until 9 - 10am rather than no meal at all.

Sleeping so late and waking up too late will disrupt the process of removing unnecessary chemicals. Aside from that, midnight to 4:00 am is the time when the bone marrow produces blood. Therefore, have a good sleep and don't sleep late.


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Math and Jokes

. Thursday, April 3, 2008
0 comments


ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him A little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and Not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men,
But married men are a lot more willing to die.

MEMORY
Any married man should forget his mistakes,
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.


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